At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
