Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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