But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize