I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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