You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
