You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
