I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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