Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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