just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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