You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
