I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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