For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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