Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
