Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
