WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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