Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
