i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
