I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize