I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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