Do you still have your period?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
