I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
