pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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