Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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