they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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