Screwed.edu
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She bit a glass in half.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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