Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
