i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
