Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
They left me at home... I'm a liability
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
