Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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