I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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