it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
