so that wasnt chicken after all
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
