he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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