they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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