Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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