Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
