Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
