Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
