it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
