I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
