I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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