Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We are all done wearing pants today
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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