i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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