sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
