So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
