Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
