who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
