And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
