Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
