STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
