"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize