One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
